Kareoke will never be a sober sport
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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