Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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