I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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