i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
