Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
