I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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