is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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