There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
