That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
