the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize