My balls are so social today.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
my poor anus
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
