I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
