So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
