i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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