ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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