: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
