this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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