perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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