Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
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