I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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