Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
