Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
