Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
