After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
