Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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