The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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