I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
