its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
