Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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