Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
