Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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