so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
