He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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