Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
high people should be assigned attendants
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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