I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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