so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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