Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
