Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
