Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
