Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...

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(586): View more from Michigan

We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.

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(406): View more from Montana

he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.

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(516): View more from New York

I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

You were.

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(425): View more from Washington

I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life

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(360): View more from Washington

And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.

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(660): View more from Missouri

When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.

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