everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
