it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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