How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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