My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I lost the right to judge tonight
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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