This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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