There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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