She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
