I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Say something about gay babies.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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