i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
