i already hear my dad disowning me
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
