what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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