we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
