when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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