and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
