I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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