so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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