I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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